The Metamorphosis

Over the holiday weekend (yeah, yeah, I know it was only Labor Day, but its still a holiday) we moved.

I’ve sold the little house Bruce and I bought when we were newly married (a bit more than a year). I’ve no regrets. I’ve moved into an apartment that is about 1 1/2 times the size of the house.

Although I’m not unpacked yet, I feel very much at home.

Instead of having the apartment numbers on the mail boxes, we are assigned a numbered mailbox. My number is 180.

What an incredible ’sign’. I’m trying to make a 180 degree turn in my life. 180 degrees away from my church. 180 degrees away from the married woman I was, to the single woman I am now. 180 degrees from the type of housekeeping I did before to the kind I will be doing now. 180 degrees from the stay at home mom to the RN student. 180 degrees from the small town atmosphere to a bit bigger city with a little more anonymity.

There are a few things in my life I won’t change. The guy in my life is going to stay the same (for a very long time). My GPA will NOT do a 180 but it would be okay for it to increase about 2/10s of a point. My weight can do a 180 down but then I would be in negative numbers so how about if we settle on 18 down?

I’m very happy about the changes I’m making. I’ve often said, I would never have chosen the path my life has taken me but now that I’m here, I wouldn’t change a thing.

For those of you who have my ‘old’ phone number, go ahead and call it. It’s being forwarded to the new number. If you get me answering, ask for the new number, if you get the answering machine, it will tell you the new number. Cell phone number is the same.

In the last five years, I have not gotten away without tears whenever I hear the song made popular first (I think) by Badfinger “I Can’t Live if Living is Without You.”

Tonight, I heard the song sung by Air Supply live. I didn’t have tears, I did get choked up, but no tears.

Immediately following this song, Air Supply sang “Two Less Lonely People”.

“In my life where everything was wrong
Something finally went right”

That’s finally my life now.

I really like singing much more about two less lonely people.

Ten things I did yesterday:

1. Drove from my house to a HS reunion.
2. Realized I left my makeup at home, bought more makeup, found makeup in my bag.
3. Met Harry and Patti.
4. Went shopping for a new sweater, bought one too small.
5. Filled the car with gas.
6. Stopped in North Bend for a quick break.
7. Missed my kids.
8. Explained how Social Security works for survivors.
9. Watched a bit of the Olympics.
10. Took advantage of my free weekend minutes on my cell phone.

Nine things I’m doing today:

1. Returning purchased makeup (see above).
2. Returning purchased sweater (see above).
3. Driving back home.
4. Touring the H.S.
5. Stopping in North Bend to get treats for the kids.
6. Going to see a play.
7. Continuing to take advantage of free weekend cell minutes.
8. Working on a personal challenge.
9. Packaging up the books I sold on Amazon.

Eight artists I listened to on my drive:

1. The Sweet
2. ELO
3. Journey
4. David Bowie
5. Sting
6. Bob Seger
7. Guns N Roses
8. Boston

Seven things that I thought about this morning:

1. Why is the microwave in the hotel not plugged in and why doesn’t it have a longer cord to stretch to the outlet?
2. It’s wonderful there are no more “cool” kids from H.S. anymore - we are all wonderful individuals (amazing what 25 years can do huh?)
3. I really should do a blog entry.
4. I don’t want to get up yet.
5. I think I will eat leftovers for breakfast.
6. I really should start to get dressed.
7. What’s the best plan of ‘attack’ for everything I need to do today?

Six things that I will be using up from my pantry in the next few days:

1. Instant Potatoes
2. Chocolate Pudding
3. Couscous
4. Beef Steak (okay not in the pantry but the freezer).
5. Hamburger buns
6. Rice

Five things that I am going to focus on this week:

1. Girls Room
2. Living Room
3. Outside (if its less than 100 outside)
4. My personal challenge.
5. Remembering to check my tickler file daily.

Four things I ate yesterday:

1. Butter chicken from an indian restaurant.
2. Appetizers at the reunion
3. A chicken biscuit from Mickey Don Dons (hey, I was traveling)
4. Rice at the same indian restaurant.

Three people who I wished would have been at the reunion.

1. Alisha
2. Liz
3. Garth

Two things I wish I had more of:

1. Time.
2. Frequent Flyer Miles.

One thing and am looking forward to:

1. Moving.

Simple meme of 50 questions and answers.

1. What do you add to your coffee? Usually coconut creme creamer.

2. What are you reading now? I am reading Ancestor’s Tale by Richard Dawkins

3. Do you own a gun? Lets just say I inherited more than a half a dozen people could shoot using BOTH hands.

4. Are you registered to vote? Yes. And I got my ballot in the mail just yesterday - better get to that.

5. Do you get nervous before doctor appointments? Ummm, nope. Usually I know what’s wrong, I just have to go through the motions for him to figure it out too.

6. What do you think of hot dogs? I can live without them but I’ve found that I really like brats which have been simmered in beer and then cooked on the grill.

7. Favorite Christmas Song? Hey Santa.

8. What do you prefer to drink in the morning? Timmy’s Coffee!

9. Can you do push ups? Yes. How many? I think I did like 18 at my pre-training session.

10. What was the name of your first boyfriend/girlfriend? Hmmm. Well the first boy I kissed was Mark Estridge when I was in the 4th grade. But my first REAL boyfriend was Scott Sargent in the 10th grade.

11. What’s your favorite piece of jewelery? I love anklets and bracelets, don’t wear either very often.

12. Favorite hobby? Reading.

13. Do you work with people who idolize you? Umm, nope, don’t work. Independently wealthy, ya know.

14. Do you have ADD? Wish I could have ADD for house cleaning - focus on it for hours.

15. What’s one trait that you hate about yourself? Lack of motivation.

16. What’s your Middle name? Christine

17. Name 3 thoughts at this exact moment. I’m wasting time, I should be cleaning the kitchen. How come no one has posted anything new in their blogs in the last 15 minutes? Wonder what CG’s reaction will be to the email I sent him tonight?

18. Name 3 things you bought yesterday. A chicken sandwich, a large coke and nothing else.

19. Name 3 beverages you regularly drink. Coke, coffee, water.

20. Current worry right now? My email to CG.

21. What side do you dress to? Neither.

22. Favorite place to be? Bookstore.

23. How did you bring in the New Year? I’m thinking I was asleep.

24. Where would you like to go? Winnipeg

25. Name three people who will complete this. Not asking anyone to complete it (but if you do, leave a comment and I will go check yours out.)

26. Whose answers do you want to read the most? See above.

27. What color shirt are you wearing? White, red and black.

28. Do you like sleeping on satin sheets? Sleeping, no, other things, yes.

29. Can you whistle? Yup and I can whistle by blowing air out and by sucking air in. Such talent.

30. Favorite colors(s)? Red

31. Could you be a pirate? No but I would volunteer to be a certain pirates wench.

32. What songs do you sing in the shower? 80’s

33. Favorite girls name? The ones I named Kid 1 and Kid 2

34. Favorite boy’s name? The one I used for Kid 3

35. What’s in your pocket right now? No pockets.

36. Last thing that made you laugh? Oh goodness, I think I need to laugh more.

37. Best bed sheets as a child? Sheesh, I can’t remember the bed sheets from last week much less from when I was a kid!

38. Worst injury you’ve ever had? A broken shoulder from a table saw kick back.

39. Do you love where you live? No, not at all.

40. How many TVs do you have in your house? 3.

41. Who is your loudest friend? I don’t think I have one.

42. How many dogs do you have? No dogs. I can barely take care of a cat.

43. Does anyone have a crush on you? If they do, they should be in therapy. How would one know anyway? An odd question.

44. What are the most fun things you ever did? Flew to a foreign country to meet a man for the first time.

45. What are your favorite books? Any book which is NOT assigned for a class.

46. What is your favorite candy? Ferrer Roche

47. Favorite Team? For what?

48. What songs do you want played at your funeral? Just put my zune on random during a party – that’s good enough for me.

49. What were you doing at 12 AM? Pondering my last blog entry which I ended up making private.

50. What was the first thing you thought of when you woke up? I don’t want to get up.

but it’s something that I decided to mark private.

I wanted to let any who might be reading know that I DID post tonight but, this is for my eyes only, this time.

Today marks the 5th sadiversary of Bruce’s death.

I’ve had some melancholy moments for sure. I’ve purposely distracted myself today but I couldn’t run away from a few sad moments. I really miss him. But most of all, I miss my kids having a dad.

I never would have asked Bruce not to be in my life. However, he’s not here. There’s nothing I can do about that. My life has continued and I have found someone I enjoy spending my days with. Not someone better, but someone different. That someone different has filled my life with joy, just as Bruce did. I still miss Bruce but having someone else to love has made my life not quite so lonely anymore. And for that, I am very grateful.

Thanks, CG.

Okay, so I’ve been basically unemployed for the last 21 1/2 years but let’s not get technical.

I am SO incredibly bored right now. I know, I should be happy I’ve got the summer to do anything I want, the problem is that I’m not doing anything. Yes, I’m doing the ultimate in spring cleaning but come on, that’s only so entertaining.

My main problem is that I suffer from a disease. That disease is the I.G.A.D. disease. Basically people with this disease suffer from I’ve Got All Day thinking. Okay, truth is, I have I.G.A.S. disease but that sounds like I will be farting at any moment. (I’ve Got All Summer). I feel very little urgency to get anything done. So I’m not.

So, as Dog as my witness, I will never go jobless (or school less again).

P.S. Remind me of this entry the first time I complain about needing a break from working, will ya. I love crow!

Marriage for all eternity is being threatened. Many male members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints are married to multiple women in heaven. Even today, prominent LDS general authorities are also polygamists in heaven. I believe in the importance of eternal marriage; therefore I would like to propose a “Celestial Marriage Amendment” that would define marriage in heaven as “one man married to one woman.” This is a moral issue that certainly threatens to undermine the sanctity of heavenly unions. I encourage all people everywhere to use their time and means to bring this to pass. After all, I’d hate the LDS Church to develop a reputation for hypocrisy.

Troy Williams
Salt Lake City

From Salt Lake Tribune

Wonder how long before this guy will be called in for his court of love.

I’m determined to keep up the blog without more than a skipped day in between postings. However, my days aren’t always all that exciting to share.

My goal this lazy summer was to de-junk my house in preparation of the move. So, that’s what I’ve been working on today. Kitchen and my bedroom. That’s it. Nothing else. Boring huh?

I did find my scrubs order form today. Thats a good thing. So, next payday, I will order those. I ordered my background check today. We had to list all the counties we have lived in. I decided it was best to do that chronologically. Bannock, Idaho, Charleston, South Carolina, New London (? gosh I hope so) Connecticut, back to Bannock (got that already, check), back to Charleston, South Carolina (again, done) Bingham, Idaho, Kitsap, Washington, Montgomery, Pennsylvania, Miami-Dade, Florida (When DID they change it from Dade County to Miami-Dade County? Apparently in the last 20 years since I’ve been living in….) Benton, Washington. Holy shit! I was told they only checked the last 7 years, which is a $50 check but if they check other counties, its an additionl $13 per county. So the total would be… $141. That’s okay, we don’t need to eat this week. Once I get the final bill for that, I will go get my immunizations. Holy cow, nursing school is expensive!

So, if this wasn’t entertaining, just know that I was able to keep up my goal of a posting at least every other day. Thanks for that.

Okay, so my 25th Class Reunion is next month. I need to decide if I want to go.

I’ve booked a hotel room where the reunion will be held so I can get shit-faced drunk if I want to (NO, not ILY drunk (see April). I just can’t seem to decide if I want to go.

Pros:
1. A weekend without the kids, which means I CAN get shit-faced drunk if I choose
2. I might get to reconnect with some people I’ve lost contact with
3. It will give me a chance to go back to “then” and see if my resolve of my “now” is as strong as I think it is, cause baby, I’ve changed!
4. A king bed to myself.
5. I can go to the bathroom and leave the door open! No knocks on the bathroom door.
6. I can go to Scenic Beach.

Cons:
1. I will be going alone - I know I know, get used to it, right? I’ve been doing things alone for five years.
2. I don’t want to be treated as a leper since I’m widowed now and most people probably won’t be aware of that.
3. Don’t want to have to tell people over and over that I’m a widow.
4. $100 for a hotel room.
5. Okay, I admit it, it’s a weekend without the kids. They love it, I don’t necessarily.
6. I will have to go to Scenic Beach, alone.

Don’t you hate it when the Pro list and the Con list have the exact same number of entries? Makes it hard to make that decision. What say you?