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Filed under: Everyday Life by Angela
My Emancipation Proclamation
Forgive the bit of pop psychology at the beginning but, it helps to explain a bit about who I am.
Dr. Phil says that there are five moments and five people who define our lives.
I can definitely point to one defining moment but another one of my defining ‘moments’ wasn’t a moment at all, it was about 39 years of my life.
My defining moment happened in July of 2003. Our family, my husband, my three kids and I, were on vacation. My husband went on a bicycle ride with some acquaintances and collapsed and died. Talk about a major defining moment.
My 39 year defining moment was the religion in which I was raised. I’m not going to specifically say which religion this is but those of you who have been involved with this church will probably be able to figure it out. This religion is quite strict in they way they control your lives. They tell you what to do, how to think, how to dress, what to spend your money on, and generally rule your life.
After my husband passed away, I clung to my church for comfort as I was in need of comforting at the time. However, as time passed, I found the church to be restricting, not comforting.
I made the decision to distance myself from this church and by doing so, I distanced myself from the support system and friends that I had known for years. I’m sorry that my distancing myself from the church also resulted that distancing from my friends, but I believe it was more their choice than mine.
Anyway. In February of 2006, I found myself in Las Vegas, with CG.
Many years prior to that trip, I remember hearing Janet Jackson talking about her nipple piercings and thinking how very hot it sounded.
It was in the back of my mind for those many years but I didn’t know if I would ever go thru with it after all, the church said we shouldn’t do it.
But, there I was 40 years old, semi inebriated for the frist time in my life. The liquid courage, the lights, the incredible man next to me, I couldn’t help myself.
I had both nipples pierced and I don’t regret it for a moment.
Flash forward to Fall Quarter of 2006. In my microbiology class, we were discussing a news article a classmate found about a gal who had a nipple piercing done and it became infected with a flesh eating disease. After class, my classmate and I were slow packing up but we were discussing the situation with the instructor.
The instructor said she didn’t understand why people would pierce their nipples. She didn’t say it in a condescending way, more of a curiosity. My classmate admitted she had had one done when she was much younger and passed it off as a ‘rebellion’ moment. I mentioned I had just had it done about six months prior. When asked why I did it, it struck me. It was my emancipation proclamation.
I was emancipating myself from my church. I was emancipating myself from all the expectations I had of my marriage, that we would grow old together, that we would raise our children together, that we would work together to achieve the life we wanted.
That day, I truly started to live my new life. I no longer feel the “quilties” about not following the rules of the church. I don’t dwell as much about what could have been in my marriage.
I have learned to live for me, for my children, and I am most glad that CG is along for this ride.
I am looking forward to a few more defining moments, but the realization I had that day in class, will be one that will stay with me forever!